I realized today why I'm struggling so much to finish my novel. It's because writing is this giant balancing act and I'm not sure if I'm smart enough to pull it off.
You see, everything about a story is like a circular web. It's all interconnect and it all has to fit together just so. All the lose end and the different sub plots and the questions must tie together in the end. And making it all fit together--just so--is the most challenging part (I think) in the whole big, long process. Not voice. Not plot. Not pace. It's the whole, big picture that's most important. It's what--in the end--makes or break the story. Think big picture. That's why J.K. Rowling is a super genius. Her stories fit together so well. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. It makes perfect sense and adds to the story.
So back to what I said about being smart enough to pull it off. It's a balancing act. You've got to keep everything in your mind (all the plot turns and twists and little details) so that by the end they're still consistent and ultimately solved. And I constantly feel like my brain isn't big enough to hold it all in. I think that's partly why I constantly am re-reading and re-reading what I've already written. It posses a question: Should I outline? As a writer I don't. I take the fly by the seat of my pants approach. I just can't see that far in advance. But ultimately, is that why I'm struggling so much now, at the end?
I'm just sending these questions into the void. I don't have answers.